Screaming at your cat? Forgivable. Screaming at your boyfriend? Understandable. Screaming at your colleagues? Totally, and utterly unacceptable. Or is it - is it possible to get angry at work without losing your professionalism, credibility and your job?

Mark Rolle, head of HR at Lester Alldridge LLP, coaches employees to deal with anger in the workplace, and says that the best way to avoid getting cross is ... to stay calm: - Take a deep breath and think about the issue from the other person's point of view, - he says - Work out why there's a difference of opinion. The process of rationalising takes the heat out of the thing, and allows you to approach it in a more structured way.

Is it never ok to be angry?

Of course, by the time you've done all that empathising, rationalising and structuring you're unlikely to be angry anyway. So is Rolle really saying that it's never OK to be angry? - Once you get to the point of being cross, you are on the verge of losing it," he says. "You have to observe the line between assertive and angry if you want to get your point across.

Dr Sandi Mann, senior lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire and author of Anger Management in a Week (Hodder and Stoughton) reckons that we could do with getting angry a bit more often. - It is OK to get cross at work. If your colleague has repeatedly failed to pass on a message, or is continually late with reports - the sorts of things that are more than just irritations - then getting angry can be a useful communication tool. If you don't express your anger they won't know - she says - What's not OK is losing your temper.

How to get cross well?

So how can you get cross well? - Phone and email are not the best way to do it - says Donna Miller, a director at Enterprise Rent-a-Car - because there is room for miscommunication. I don't think it's ever appropriate to use foul language, to do it in front of other employees or to humiliate or bully anyone in the process - she says. It's also tricky for women to show anger, as Mann explains: - I don't think women's anger is taken as seriously unless it's extreme - so if you just say you are really angry, your colleagues might just say "OK", but if you burst into tears they'll believe you - she says - But at the same time, where a man showing anger is seen as assertive, women tend to be seen as hysterical and weak. - If you are part of a pretty tight team, whom you've known for a while and who know you - in other words, a safe environment - then if you do blow your top, you'll probably get away with it - Mark Rolle says - But if you do it in the boardroom, or in front of the wider organisation, it might make you look weak or irrational.

So next time you're about to lose your rag, consider this: shouting at the person who sits next to you, in a moderate and low voice, especially if you are a man, is fine. Screeching at the whole floor, no matter how justified, just makes you look like you're in line for the sack.

Słowniczek

if you want to get your point across - jeśli chcesz być właściwie zrozumianym

we could do with getting angry a bit more often - dobrze by nam zrobiło wściekać się trochę częściej

get cross = get angry

to use foul language - używać ordynarnego języka

if you do blow your top - jeśli stracisz panowanie nad sobą

next time you're about to lose your rag - następnym razem, zanim zaczniesz się wściekać

you're in line for the sack - jesteś następny w kolejce do zwolnienia